Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

There are some things not to say to a pregnant woman that seem to be completely forgotten about. It’s almost as though someone encounters someone carrying a baby and all filters are suddenly switched off and any thoughts they have come tumbling out.

Insensitive, forgetful, thoughtless or downright rude – whatever the reason, it would be good to change things for the better. Being pregnant at 40, my fourth pregnancy and hopefully my third successful one, I have heard a lot of these. Sometimes, I smile politely or laugh. Other times, I anticipate what someone might say and actually get in there first.

Was it planned?

Some babies are planned; others aren’t. That is a fact of life.

For the record, my fiancé and I have been very keen to have our own baby. However, as with all aspects of life, things have got in the way, and nothing went as planned. In fact, health professionals were somewhat concerned about my health following an ultrasound scan.

Your bump is massive!

“Oh my goodness. You have put on so much weight!” Imagine if someone dared to say that to someone who wasn’t pregnant. Would you be surprised if they reacted negatively? My bump might be forming nicely and I have definitely popped, but hearing how big I am getting every five minutes is really tiring. If you’re really that interested, I have lost weight during this pregnancy not gained any. My shape is simply changing and my body adapting to carry another life inside of me.

Are you expecting twins?

See the answer above. No one wants to be called fat.

You’re tiny!

Likewise, for smaller-framed women who aren’t showing as much, they don’t want to be reminded that their bodies don’t conform to the usual pregnancy size expectations. (Incidentally, this hasn’t happened to me… ever!)

I bet you want a boy

While some people are keen on having a certain gender, we are genuinely happy whatever gender the baby is. I have two girls and he already has two boys and a girl, so it really isn’t that off balance anyway. Plus, so what if it were?

Haven’t you got a TV?

We love our children dearly. We love watching TV as well, but that love is not to the same degree! Bringing a child into the world together is something we are really excited about doing. Incidentally, we have more than one TV!

Aren’t you a bit old?

Yes… this has been said to me. And I do realise that by the medical professionals’ standards, I am officially a geriatric mother. However, I don’t feel too old to be carrying this baby. I was seen as old even when I had my first and second by some people. Actually though, these days, more and more women are having their first in their 40s. And if that’s what they want to do, who is anyone else to criticise that decision?

I ate your chocolate/sweets/crisps/ice cream/tea

Aside from it being rude to eat someone else’s food anyway, taking this approach with a pregnant woman is really risky behaviour. Most of us probably crave a certain food and detest something else. Plus, when you have it in your head that you are returning home from work to a beautiful scoop of praline ice cream, for example, not getting it could lead to tears.

So, there you have it… a few things not to say to a pregnant woman. With hormones raging, the chances are that you’ll end up with a crumpled mess in front of you soaking you with their tears or a black eye. Incidentally, I’ve been pretty lucky with the way in which most people have reacted to this pregnancy, which has come as a surprise to them.