A relationship changes significantly when you become parents (that is undeniable), and it can be challenging to maintain a level of intimacy when you are so focused on the little bundles of joy, whatever age they may be.
Originally, when you first start dating, it is all about lust and excitement; the tingle down your spine when you see them and the goosebumps when you touch. You are dating, getting to know one another, and just having a great time.
As your relationship moves forward and commitment creeps in, perhaps with marriage or even property, things naturally shift. But you still have time for one another, don’t you? It all changes when children come along. After all, we can all be guilty of focusing our attention more on our children’s needs than that of our partners. It is a two-way street, and your relationship is still a vital part of your family. Without your unity, what do you have? You risk a break-up, which is probably far from what either of you would ever want or need.
You need to remember that you are still a couple and keeping the spice in your relationship is still of utmost importance, showing that the love, care and dedication for each other remains.
So, what can you do? Here are a few things you could try.
Date nights out
One of the first things to think about would be a date night. Getting a babysitter or asking family to watch your kids and heading out will give you a bit of your old life back. Even just for a few hours. It makes a big difference to just have one to one time where you can talk, eat a meal uninterrupted and do some more adult-focused things. It will rekindle the romance and remind you what your relationship is all about.
Date nights in
It isn’t always easy to find (or trust) a babysitter, especially if your kids are a bit of a handful, so you may need to think about taking some time to have a date night at home as well. There are so many great ways to do this. Cooking a nice meal for each other; watching a film snuggled up together and getting cosy and having an early night are all simple ideas. However, they are also very effective in rekindling the romance and adding a little spice back into your lives. A cosy night in can be so romantic.
Time away from phones
Date nights are great, but sometimes you just need to be more connected. One of the biggest distractions in the modern age are your phones. So, take time out in the evenings to turn the phone off or put it in another room, and just have time together without the need to stare at your phones. It will make the world of difference.
Talking can be everything
Taking is one of the sexiest things you can do with your partner believe it or not. Having someone who is giving you attention, talking and sharing with you. It can make you feel great, worthy and happy with each other. A small thing to do is to remember to ask how they are or how their day was and then listen to the answer without any distractions. Make them feel special and worthy, and it can give your relationship a big boost.
Finally, spontaneous affection can be fun. Remember when you used to flirt? You don’t need to stop. A quick hug or squeeze as you walk past. A kiss just because. Small actions of affection will make your partner feel great. When you first started seeing each other, you probably held hands as you walked down the street. Now, the hand holding has probably passed on to your children, but it doesn’t mean you can’t hold hands in the kitchen or when you’re walking just the two of you.
Relive an early date
Finally, here’s a little encouragement for you to try to relive one of your early dates in order to feel those emotions all over again. Perhaps you visited a certain restaurant or visited a nearby tourist attraction. Whatever one of the most memorable of dates was, try to recreate it. Of course, times change and so you may find yourself unable to do everything precisely, but the thought is the most important part of this suggestion.
Let’s hope these tips help you to add some spice to your relationship and keep you strong as a couple, not just as a parenting team.