What day is it today? I’ve lost track already and I’ve only been at home for just under two weeks.
I’ve been out and done a few bits of essential shopping as well as dropping things over to my elderly parents, but aside from that, I have restricted my outside activities completely.
This coronavirus malarkey is simply dreadful. My mental health has taken a nosedive and I am on the verge of tears most of the time. However, in times of despair, it is always important to look at the positives of which there are plenty.
Food and Drink
Ok, so I might not have as much dried pasta in the house as I usually would (we often cater for seven mouths at mealtimes, so tend to buy in bulk anyway), but I do have food. Our freezer is full and we have plenty for the next few weeks. A trip to Makro allowed us to buy lemon squash in a large bottle, which we will siphon into a smaller container. We also have plenty of rice, coconut milk, curry paste, baked beans and frozen break to last us a while. I finally managed to get my hands on some self-raising flour too – a 16kg bag (I eat a wheat-free diet, so won’t even benefit)!
My partner, Colin, has been trapped with me from the word go. It isn’t easy, but he has stood by me through thick and thin. This is just yet another hurdle for us to overcome, but it won’t break us. This morning, I couldn’t face getting up after returning to bed having put the gammon in the slow cooker. After several games of Sudoku on my ‘phone, he sent me a message telling me to come downstairs. When I got there, I found he had made me some brunch. None for himself, just for me. It’s those little things that show his love for me.
Family and Friends
My daughters might drive me mad, but being with them means that I feel so much happier about life. I am very lucky to have them both and cannot imagine going through this awful period without them. As for the other family members and friends, well, we might not be allowed to see each other properly, but I do know that my family and friends care about me. I am in daily contact with my parents and try to take things across when they are in need. My friends and I are constantly messaging each other too and I recently rang one in a fit of rage after someone decided to put my children at risk. It’s good to know that we are all there for one another, even though it’s not in person.
Though woefully underfunded, our National Health Service remains something at which to marvel. We are very lucky that even if we are some of the poorest people in the country, we still have access to free healthcare. Imagine living in a country where you must have insurance; fall ill without it and the chances are you will not survive.
As soon as I realised the severity of the situation, I posted in our village Facebook group about what we could do to help. Instantly, many people rallied together and offered their support. Simultaneously, another local lady did the same and we chatted about our plans. The parish council funded our vision and the village now has a helpline where support can be sought and from that volunteers can be called upon.
My amazing Zumba instructor, Rachel, has thrust herself into the world of Zoom and made many dreams come true by continuing to offer classes during the week for us craving the normality of exercise. Of course, nothing can beat a session in person, but this certainly helps to lift my mood. I get endorphins, much-needed of course, and there’s also a social element to the classes too. I certainly feel a lot less distant from my Zumba family this way. It provides important me-time too.
The sun continues to rise and fall despite everything being so chaotic all around us. The first day after the partial lockdown was announced, my partner spotted a squirrel running across the fence in the back garden. Whenever you look outside, there are signs that life does go on. Although things are different right now, we still exist; nature still exists.
Right now, I am scared, anxious and feeling low. I’m not going to apologise for feeling this way. The current situation is unprecedented and unpredictable. If you are feeling the same as me, be gentle with yourself. You are entitled to feel this way. Try to reflect on the positives rather than dwelling on the rest. Stay safe, everyone.