Pregnancy anxiety can appear, whether you have already experienced difficulties or not. For me, I have some terrible memories and anxieties linked to my complete molar pregnancy that happened to be my first pregnancy in 2010.
Going to a scan at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAU) and for them to tell you that there was nothing visible in your womb was traumatic. To then, two weeks later, be back at the EPAU for a follow-up appointment and be told that there was definitely something visible on the scan, a mass of grape-like cysts that are often indicative of a complete molar pregnancy, was heart-breaking. I sobbed, even more so when I read the leaflet that mentioned cancer. Then, if you’ve read my posts before, you’ll know that I was diagnosed with a complete molar pregnancy which required chemotherapy treatment.
So, in other words, it’s not surprising that pregnancy anxiety is always lurking for me.
Each and every scan, my hands are clammy and my heart racing. I worry about the words the sonographer will say to me. This time round, being a geriatric mother, I’m concerned about the impact my age might have on the health of the baby. I’m clinging on, stupidly, to things I hear linked to age, to people who’ve had three babies, to everything I hear really… but that’s pregnancy anxiety for you.
Unfortunately, I’m not qualified to be able to advise you on how to ease your pregnancy anxiety. However, I can share with you some things that help me. Perhaps these might be useful for you or someone you know, too.
Me Time
Sometimes, me time can be intense and the voices in your head might become louder. However, there are things to do that can alleviate the anxiety in these situations. Practising mindfulness when you have quality time with no one else around can make a difference.
The way in which society has evolved means that we rarely have time ‘off’ from external influences. Think about going for your morning poo (or whatever time of day yours occurs)… how many of us scroll through things on Facebook or watch YouTube videos whilst doing our business? A two-minute poo is probably extended to at least five to allow yourself time to finish that game of Candy Crush or whatever you’re doing. Or how about when you’re cooking tea for you and your family. Rather than allowing yourself thinking time, those gaps are usually filled with something tech-wise.
Mindfulness can allow you to refocus your mind. Being free from the constraints of modern life, even if for just a few minutes, can be hugely beneficial. You could tie this in with a soak in the bath, though being pregnant can make it a little trickier to get out easily, particularly in the third trimester.
Hobbies
Indulging in a favourite hobby of yours can help to take your mind off your pregnancy anxiety and allow you to have fun. Whether it’s playing a board game with friends, partaking in pregnancy Yoga or taking the dog for a walk. Doing something you enjoy will pick you up and allow you time off from the debilitating anxiety.
Sleep
Whether you have been blessed with children already or not, you will undoubtedly be acutely aware of the lack of sleep that many (ahem… most?) parents face, particularly in the new born days. Trying to establish a sleep routine for yourself will support you in lowering your stress and anxiety levels. Even if you are not feeling sleepy, try to head to bed at the same time each night, even on weekends. Likewise, set an alarm for the same time every morning, even if you don’t need to be immediately up. Though, try to avoid the snooze function as this ruins sleep quality. If sleep is not forthcoming, try a sleep meditation. This can help you to unwind and fall into a deep sleep.
Reflexology
I used to love having reflexology done, but unfortunately, Covid saw the end of my treatments with the lovely Nicola, now running Star Crystal Gems, an equally fab business. So, although I haven’t had any reflexology during this pregnancy, I can highly recommend it as something that can help ease anxiety and allow you to relax.
Being Honest
Finally, my last suggestion is about being honest. That means with yourself and other people. When I was younger, the stigma surrounding mental health was somewhat different to how it is these days. In fact, I hated being open with anyone about how I was feeling. This made me into a person I didn’t like to look at in the mirror. I was angry and full of self-loathing.
These days, I will shout from the rooftops about my anxiety because I know it helps me as well as other people. When faced with pregnancy anxiety, I am always honest with other people about these emotions because bottling it up does no one any favours, least of all me and the baby I’m carrying. My partner is an amazing support. Even though he wasn’t with me through the horrid molar pregnancy and chemo times, he understands. He listens to what I’m saying and provides hugs, kisses and kind words whenever I need them. Oh, and sweet treats, too!
